Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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