if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
