If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
