I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
