I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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