you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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