Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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