yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
