so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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