It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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