chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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