Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
