You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
