I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My liver just had a heart attack.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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