My hair reeks of homosexuality.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
