On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
