her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
