We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
