so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
