dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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