My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
where are you?
Hypothermia
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
