after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
