I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
