I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
