Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
