it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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