I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
