seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
