the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
