drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
