youre lurking in front of me
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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