But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
