at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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