remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
