I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Drake has all the answers
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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