this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
