The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
