does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
