Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
