Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
