Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
