The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so explain again why im purple
no
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
