Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
