Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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