Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
