i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Sorry about my life...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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