Someone shit on the floor
operation harelip BJ is a go
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize
