He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
