sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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