they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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