explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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