Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
