Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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